Perfect Fit

I’m recognizing more and more just how perfect a fit I am with the role God has given me.

I know this because when I am walking in the shoes of being a mother and a wife, doing acts of selfless love, there is complete fulfillment there.

But when I am doing other things, namely for extended periods of time, my spirit knows no peace. It does not rest because it knows it shouldn’t be there.

I have experienced this over and over again. It is confirmed for me time and time again.

Many women have written on how blogging has taken up much more time in their lives then it ought to….including me. Though I have cut down, I still don’t think I’ve scaled back enough.

There are days where I feel obligated to post and I don’t know why. I know it’s not a nudge of the Holy Spirit, but rather a pull of temptation to take me away from the work God has created for me to do.

At our Wednesday night Advent service, I learned  not to stay and fight temptation, but to FLEE from it! Because if Satan can’t drag us to hell, he does everything he can to steal our joy.

I also learned the beautiful value of work. We were created to create. Think about that for a minute. God gave us the work we have [in training our children, building our homes, etc] to create it. We are stewards of what He’s given us – what are we doing with it? What am I doing with it? Better yet, how can I use the unique gifts God has given me to create? Create a home that’s a haven. Create a marriage that is blissful. Create children who love the Lord. God has equipped me and will finish the work I’ve started…if I persevere.

I am still not satisfied in the place I’m in, because I know He wants more from me.

The new year is quickly approaching and I have been seeking Him about some new goals. I am serious about goals during the year. When I stumble, I get back up and work at it again. I continue to work toward the goal until it’s complete – even if it will take a lifetime.

I know my goals thus far will include the following:

• memorizing Psalm 119, among other passages
• digging into a new Bible study (or two)
• have a set schedule for computer time (rather than getting on whenever I please) and sticking to a maximum limit

Is anyone else thinking about goals for the upcoming year?

Though I am not where I want to be [and never will in this life], I want to be content in the seasons the Lord brings me to.  Yes, I want to strive forward…but I also need to reach for His grace and not mistakenly think I have to do this on my own. I need to learn to walk in forgiveness because Jesus didn’t die for nothing. He died for me…because He knew all my efforts still wouldn’t be enough – and yet God still wanted to be in fellowship with me simply because He loves me that much.

Thank you, Abba Father, for loving me with a depth I simply cannot fathom. Keep reaching my heart Lord and help me to embrace whole heartily where you have me now.

 

The Unseen

Busy with the unseen things today. Have a great Wednesday!

 

Grieving Today

I had a dream last night of an old friend. Hadn’t dreamt about this friend in several years now.

Just to cut to the chase, and kind of vent out some hurt, this friend committed suicide 5 years ago this Christmas season. He was not saved.

That is what grieves me. When we were friends I tried to talk to him a few times about God, but he simply wasn’t interested. Life was empty for him. He was but 30 when he took his own life. Not married and no children (thankfully).

But for the first year after it happened, I dreamt about him and the afterlife. A lot. I know it sounds crazy, but I truly believe God was trying to give me closure. No, it wasn’t the closure I wanted. But it was an answer. He did not make it to heaven.

I didn’t know his family at all. Never even met them.

Anyhoo, all that to say my heart is just heavy today. Obviously this time of year isn’t joyous for everyone…not when the suicide rate is the highest of any other time of the year.

 

What Beyond Christmas?

Is it just me, or does it seem as if Christmas is the only time I ever hear of so many people giving their best? We give our time. We give our money. We give our hearts. We don’t think so much about it simply because it’s Christmas. Or is it we think much about it because it is Christmas.

Yet the fact is, needs don’t go away simply because Christmas has come and gone again. The needs will be back, in many cases, the very next month. Then what?

The joy of the Lord, His birth, His death, and His resurrection should be such an ingrained part of our spirits and beings, that this type of giving should never leave us. When we cannot give money, we give time. Time in service. Time in prayer.

I couldn’t help but think about this today as I was sparked to bake cookies for my church’s Wednesday dinner. It is not a potluck in that everyone “brings a dish to pass”. But I just really wanted to bless the church by surprising them with cookies, and thought also it would be a fun endeavor for my kids to bake and give.

God really blessed us and it felt so good. Not so much in an emotional way, but in a fulfilling kind of way. Serving others. True, I serve my family everyday. But God challenged me to go the extra mile today, and take my children along, and we were blessed all around by it!

I don’t want that to stop just because Christmas goes. I want to do that again. I want to be inspired to do random acts of love/kindness like that again, and often.

When Christmas goes, don’t let your spirit of giving, or forgiving, or joy, or kindness go, too. The need for someone to receive such a gift doesn’t go away, and the gift is always cherished.

{Follow my journey} through and beyond the Christmas season.

 

Universal Laws of Home Systematics

Law: Systems work.

First Corollary: If you don’t work your systems, your systems won’t work.

Second Corollary: The more you work your systems, the less you’ll work.

I’ve been working my system here in my home. It is beginning to run beautifully!

…if ignored, routine energy rapidly dissipates, and the elements within the home universe begin to disintegrate at rapidly increasing rates of decay. When that happens, even greater amounts of time and effort are needed to regain stability.

{Join me} for regular ponderings on staying organized.

(Quotes from Educating the WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson)

 

100 Things About Me

1. I love to write. It’s been a talent/gift/hobby of mine that I have kind of put on the back burner, but am going to pull out again.

2. I never saw myself being a stay at home mom, but I love every second of it. I would never want to go back to work (while my kids are living at home)

3. I really enjoy homeschooling because I enjoy planning and teaching. Most people think I have my hands full, but for me, it’s not work, it’s a hobby. Sure, it has it’s challenges…anything worth doing will.

4. I am passtionate about striving to be a help meet (or that Proverbs 31/Titus 2 Woman) for my husband and kids. I can’t get enough of learning and working to fulfill my role in life as a woman created by God to do His will.

5. The number 1 question I get asked is if we are going to have more kids. The answer is: YES. Why? 1) because Jon and I love kids and love a big family 2) For me, personally, it’s my way of offering myself as a living sacrifice to God. He has blessed people in different ways…one of the ways he’s blessed me is the fruit of my womb. I know not everyone will understand this and that’s fine!

6. My favorite colors are pink, purple, and teal

7. I am a planning/list/organizing junkie.

8. I love Casting Crowns! Thier music ministers to me in ways many others don’t. (BTW, did you know they sing to disciple CHRISTIANS?)

9. I tend to try to do too much at once.

10. I also get easily side-tracked

11. And easily defeated

12. I used to like country music, but just haven’t been interested in it lately…plus my 7 year old started catching on to some of Taylor Swift’s songs and, yea, I don’t think so

13. I love to read

14. I love to blog

15. I haven’t slept well in 3 years (3 babies in 3 years) – but God has shown His strength in my weakness and overflows me with energy most days

16. I just got a new Bible after the binding fell off my old one – my new one is pink and purple, ha!

17. We have our own personal library right in our living room!

18. I love journaling

19. I have the most amazing husband ever. No joke. I don’t say that just because he’s my husband, but because he is a man after God’s own heart. He takes care of his family and is an awesome provider.

20. I love all kinds of food – italian, mexican, seafood, chinese

21. I like junk food way too much

22. I like coffee even more……mmmmm…..coffeee

23. I never finished my college degree (early childhood education). Who needs it now?! I’m living it!

24. I love playing Cribbage with my hubby

25. I’m not much of a risk taker. Ok, maybe I am…afterall, I have four kids and counting….ha ha!

26. I am easygoing

27. But can also be too passive

28. I don’t like confrontation, but will face it if I must

29. I am hoping to become a freelance writer

30. I cook pretty well (I’ve been told)

31. I don’t measure when I cook (unless I have to) I just add a little of this and a little of that and end up with a delicious concoction!

32. I used to be a partier – thank God for His grace

33. I was a VBS coordinator for 3 years

34. I love office supplies…sticky notes, paper clips, pens/pencils, staplers…you get the idea!

35. I collected stickers as a teenager

36. I love the movie “Facing the Giants”

37. and Fireproof

38. I usually use gift money to buy books

39. Or clothes if I’ve just had a baby

40. I really like Francine Rivers ( Christian book author – check her out!)

41. I also loved the Yada Yada Prayer Group series by Neta Jackson

42. I married my hubby at 19 years old

43. I’ve been a sahm for over 7 years

44. I love free stuff

45. I want to be a place (site/blog/resource) that can offer free e-books, find the “free stuff” for others and just be a blessing as much as possible.

46. I am excellent in English (ok, so I have typos now and then, I ain’t perfect!)

47. I only wear running shoes – everyday

48. I stopped wearing skirts/dresses a few years back. Just kind of grew out of being comfortable in anything they had out so I stick to jeans/cords/running pants

49. I am a runner at heart – I’m too unmotivated to actually go out and run after caring for kids all day. And mornings are out!

50. I’m pretty good at doing research. I’ve found lost library materials in the library that the librarians couldn’t find.

51. I love potatoes…real potatoes. We eat them a lot here

52. I enjoy passionate worship like Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman

53. I struggle with perfectionism

54. I enjoy taking pictures of God’s creation and adding verses to them

55. We have a greyhound named Truman…he’s my big baby

56. I don’t like scrubbing my tub

57. Or washing floors – everything else I can handle

58. I don’t like clutter

59. I am very practical

60. I’m not much of a girly girl–not much into nail polish or jewelry and don’t have time for make up or time consuming hair-do’s

61. I love scented candles

62. I grew up roller skating and loving it – do it every now and then just to keep it fresh!

63. I want to pursue drawing–as a child I was good at it. I want to tap into that again

64. My favorite Psalm is 119

65. My living room and kitchen are scattered with my stacks of books — books I’m reading, notebooks, journals, etc.

66. I highly value experienced wives and mothers and take their wisdom seriously

67. I am very hard on myself as a person…something God is dealing with me on but somehow I’m just not “getting it”

68. Fall is my favorite season

69. I’m a binder junkie – I have a whole shelf full of binders representing different things (this goes along with my being overly organized)

70. Although I consider myself organized and a bit of a neat freak, having four children makes this very difficult! (Esp. the neat freak part)

71. I love purple pens (that is, purple ink)

72. My house is totally undecorated – all the walls are white (except the dining room) and I have no decor other than some pictures

73. BUT, I would love to learn some frugal ways to decorate and make my house more homey

74. I really enjoy visiting the apple orchard every autumn

75. I love Twitter

76. And Facebook

77. I’m really bad with time management and that’s one of the things I really beat myself up about – but I really want to do better

78. Ann Voskamp is my hero, next to Jesus, and my husband

79. I am a middle child

80. I am running out of ideas!

81. When I was 18, I accidently dyed my hair jet black – yea, I didn’t read the box

82. I love cookie dough ice cream

83. When I was little (and you’re going to laugh), I used to believe that if I took really good care of my baby doll, God would make it come to life *blush*…I must’ve done OK, because He blessed me four times over so far! (Thank you Father!)

84. I love good quotes

85. When I was young I had a bad habit of biting my nails. Now my daughter does it and it drives me nuts!

86. One time I had a dream that my husband wanted to have two wives (must be insecurity or something??), but I woke up punching his pillow! Good thing he had already left for work! :-/

87. I have a hard time sticking to one routine – I constantly want to change it (my poor kids!) Is there ANY hope for me?!? (I know there is, I’m just teasing)

88. My feet are the same size they were in 7th grade

89. I got punched in the face in 4th grade for calling someone a “freak”

90. I cried – and never lived it down

91. Still running out of things to write

92. Before we had kids, (and were mature in anyway), my husband and I were rated one of the top Blockbuster video renters in the country. Pretty sweet, huh? (no, not really). LOL

93. I just rode a bike this summer for the first time in 12 years. It was fun!

94. I used to be addicted to Pepsi

95. Now I’m addicted to lovin’ coffee (did I already mention that?)

96. I

97. can’t

98. think

99. of

100. anything else! (But if I do, I’ll come back and fill the rest in!)

 

Coffee Talk

This week has been a little off since my 2-year old was sick for a couple of days…but it hasn’t been too bad. Just a lot of tv which really annoyed be by the second day. I couldn’t stand the constant NOISE.

I’m glad he is back to his playful self and now playing with his older siblings. Silence is golden!

As of today all our formal lessons are on Thanksgiving break. Woot! LOL

However, since I’m hosting Thanksgiving, I have some cleaning to do in the house.

That aside, I am reading two books right now that will be put up for review in a couple of weeks. They are The Language of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, and Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce A. Ware. So stay tuned in for those (you won’t be sorry).

I look forward to reading how some of you are doing (trust me, I wish I had time to read all of your posts!)

In a more personal note, God is really dealing with me on some things (isn’t he always!?)

Throughout the week I wrote about memorizing scripture, capturing moments (and holding on to them), and really trying to get this selfish heart to understand there is something bigger than me.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving friends–and remember to give thanks all year!
Please visit these fabulous blogs to which this randomness is linked with!

{Journey with me?}

 

{from my journal} Capture the Moment

Before the house rises, I wake to meet with my Father. Pen in hand, journal comfortably cradled in my lap, I begin to scribe…

The stillness of the morning hours are sweet.I long to enjoy my kids MORE and learn LESS on all the “how to’s”. I think I’ve learned plenty at the moment. I just need to reflect on what I’ve learned thus far.

Father, I hear you saying…lie down in green pastures so I can restore your soul. Take in your surroundings rather than looking for something more on the outside; you won’t find it. Read less; drink it in more. Do not be afraid of what is going on in the world – be comforted. I am always with you. Pray so that you will not fall into temptation. Resist evil & selfish desires; they will flee. Be consistent. And lean on ME!

Later in the day, I logged a blessed moment…

I was having a pain in my ribs and it’s been pretty obvious that it bother’s me–Ben (4) walked up, put his arms around my legs, & prayed over me.

 

Communication {in Marriage}

Let’s face it, no matter how good [we think] our marriage is, there is always room for improvement, no?

I found this to be so in my own marriage. For a while there it seemed we had quite the perfect marriage–not that it’s not going well, because it is, but friends, if a marriage is not tended to, the fire begins to dim. There needs to be some intentional care invested into a marriage to make it blissful. Not just OK, but heavenly.

I think our communication is a bit twisted in our marriage. I know I’ve read that we, meaning men and women, do communicate differently, but I tend to forget how differently.

So I’m really excited that I get to do a review on The Language of Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He’s the same author of Love & Respect which is an excellent book.

Now, I haven’t yet read The Language of Love & Respect (just got it in the mail yesterday), but I promise you I will be sharing some tidbits along the way before doing my full review on it!

Now, I’m sure no one else needs to know this information so I am just going to happily write it to myself. BUT, if you happen to drop by and see it, feel free to take a peek!

 

Titus 2 Mentors – Rubies

Kimberly of Raising Olives raised some questions this week for Titus 2 [older] women mentoring the younger women. She kind of challenged them (in a good way) to rise to the occasion and need of helping young wives and mothers.

Gathering from the many comments she received, many, many young women are without such a gem – a mentor.

It is a difficult road to travel without such help and encouragement. I have found myself keeping company in the circles of older women in my church. True, I do fellowship well with women my age as well. But I make it appoint to get into the company of such Titus 2 women.

Often, these beautifully seasoned wives and mothers do not realize what an impact they have on ladies like us. In fact, many would not see themselves fit to fill such shoes, even though we think the best of them! Humility is a trait that only adds to their beauty, don’t you think?

I developed a new page this week. It’s simply called “Rubies“, and it is comprised of women I have come across through blogging who, in my opinion, fulfill [even if imperfectly] the Titus 2 role of such a gem…far above rubies. Women who have mentored me, knowingly or unknowingly. Whether it be from reading their blogs alone, or conversing with them privately, in more depth. They have given me guidance, resources, encouragement, prayer, and patience.

Please, feel free to visit them and glean from them.

Do you have such a gem in your life? Is there someone whose blog you have read that has helped you from afar?