Character Training

Being proactive to teach our children excellent character qualities is a must. In my opinion, it’s just not enough to wait for that “teachable moment”, but instead to instill good character traits in our children before a potential problem arises. This doesn’t mean our children will never face adversaries. But they will be better equipped to handle the situation, resulting in making a right choice.

I found a wonderful chart through the Duggar Family site on character qualities that I will use as a guide to teach my own children.

Marcia Somerville said,

Character formation is both the foundation for learning and the ultimate purpose for learning.

If I don’t tend to shaping the people my children will become, all the learning we do will be in vain. Everything must be centered on Christ and what He calls us to work toward. This is my first order of business as a mother. Not merely to work in excellent character qualities, but to instill pieces of Christ within them.

 

Everyday Mothering

What does it consist of? Various mothers answer:

kisses and hugs

laughter

tears

nurturing

dirt

learning

fulfilling

What do you say?

 

Look Inside Yourself

A couple weeks ago Sarah Mae and I did a series together on child training and discipline. We talked broadly about some major issues we as mother’s need to address, including whining, bad attitudes, sibling rivalry, and discipline/training as a whole.

Today I want to give you a glimpse into the relationship with my 7-year old daughter and I. There are times when we really clash, though most of it is seen under the surface. But there are times things seep to the top, which of course clues me in to the things going on under the surface. This is something that must be addressed, otherwise there will be a continued strained relationship that will most likely get worse as she enters the teen years.

My daughter’s frustrations with me stem from me. They are not so much a fault of hers. It is me who needs to change first. I need to address my daughter more lovingly and stop reacting to situations based on my emotions. I also need to show her more affection so she knows she is loved.

Recently, my husband and I agreed that a once a month date with just her and I would help build this relationship, doing something we both love: rollerskating.

I am going to work on praising more and critisizing less and changing my bad attitude.

Do you have a child whom who “clash” with? I really want to encourage you to work seriously on building that relationship. Write down the way the two of you relate. Mother to child and child to mother. Is there bitterness? Lack of communication? Lack of affection? Tension? How do you relate? Write everything down and it will help you see what you need to work on. This exercise was developed by the authors of Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes.

Pray for your relationship and for wisdom. Share tips here if you have gone through a strained relationship with a child and what you did to strengthen it.

 

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…

…in you and your kids!, by Scott Turansky, D. Min and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N.

As I began to embark on the journey of understanding how to instill honor into our family, the thought had never really crossed my mind before reading this book. Which is frankly quite strange, because the Bible clearly states:

Honor you father and mother…Eph. 6:2

So simple, yet easily missed.

Not only did this amazing book teach me what honor is, it is teaching me what honor should look like in our children and in us, their parents. It gives examples all throughout the book of honor in action and some examples when dishonor is present. This really helps draw a clear picture for me so I know what to expect and what to avoid.

The authors, Scott and Joanne, teach that it is not enough to correct behavior because this only touches the surface. A child could be obeying with their actions and yet have defiance in their heart. This doesn’t address the real issue. Obedience is still important. In fact, honor and obedience go hand in hand. As quoted from the book

Although obedience gets the job done, honor addresses how the job is done (pg. 29).

There are some wonderful ways for children and parents to communicate and come to a healthy and honoring compromise when the need arises for it. The authors walk you through these tools, one which can be used even as an adult.  The first is called, “Obey first, then we’ll talk about it”, which is pretty self explanatory. The other one is called “The Wise Appeal”. I use “obey first, then we’ll talk about it” and it works wonderfully. We point out that in the case of an emergency we do not want our children to hesitate to obey, because it could cost them their lives. So, I really like this tool.

It really helped me that the author’s lay out practical ways to teach honor to our children. There is an entire chapter dedicated to this topic and I revisit it again and again. It must be noted that it is repeatedly stated, and should be no surprise, that teaching honor to our children, and learning it for ourselves, is not easy. It takes time and effort.

Something that I have never thought about is how each of us, in our family, relate to each other. There is an exercise in the book that challenges the reader to write out the relationships of each person in the family and to answer 5 questions for each relation. It is amazing what is found through this exercise and can help in building better relationships.

Not only are children’s bad attitudes addressed, but so are the parents. I’ve written on this before as well, and it is so true. Again, there are excellent, practical skills which are taught to parents that bring about “honor-based parenting” (Chap. 6). Perhaps the one that spoke most to me was “be firm without being harsh”. Can anyone relate? I’d like to share just a few quotes that really caught my attention on the subject:

A commanding or demanding attitude fosters resentment in children. Parents who use these tactics might, in the end, get obedience, but they don’t get honor. They don’t get it because they aren’t giving it (pg. 102).

If we expect our children to always appreciate our discipline, we’re going to be frustrated (pg. 103).

Is this going to produce perfectly well-behaved and honoring families? No, because no one is perfect. But, it gives us a biblical foundation for our family to stand on and examples to learn from. Honor is a powerful weapon against greed, selfishness, pride, anger, bad attitudes, and bitterness. It is a sweet aroma for our Heavenly Father and thus will be within our own families. The author’s simplified it well:

Honor [is]
treating people as special,
doing more than what’s expected
and having a good attitude

This truly addresses the heart, not only the hearts of our children, but our hearts as well; and the heart of our parenting. This helps us take a deeper look inside ourselves and our family dynamics to understand why raising our children can be so frustrating…and what we can do to change that.

I really love that each chapter has study questions at the end to really dig into the Scriptures and our own family life. Even more, at the end of the book, in the Appendix, there are 8 discussions and activities that focus on honor, in which families can interact and put honor into action.

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…in you and your kids! has really opened my eyes to dealing with the heart of a child and interacting in ways that may go against the grain of society. It helps break the cycle of believing that “things just won”t change, so why bother?” Children are people and really should be treated with honor, which in turn will help them learn honor.

Please, check out Scott and Joanne’s website National Center for Biblical Parenting. They have great parenting resources and free parenting tips you can get right in your e-mail in box.

 

What This Series Spoke to Me

While typing this series, I learned quite a bit and God spoke to me about some things that I’d really like to share.

First, I want to be sure everyone who’s passed through here is aware that I am no perfect mother and I struggle with all the things I’ve typed up. Even while I was writing this series I had some struggles with my children. So, please know, much of this is spoken through experience: the good, bad, and the ugly. My children are not perfect, but they are a blessing and a joy.

God spoke to me through A Woman Inspired, the Ministry Online conference last week. It ran Mon-Thurs. and although I wasn’t able to attend every speaker’s session, I was truly blessed by what I did get to hear. (Plus, I get audio downloads of the entire conference, so I can listen to what I missed as I have the time!) Anyways, it tied in very well with doing this series. Here are a few things I learned:

1. My children need my undivided attention more then near anything else
2. Though blogging is a ministry, it should not consume my everyday
3. I need to be fed, too and cannot constantly write something “taught”. Life experiences are important, as well
4. Building a blogging business is NOT for me
5. I don’t need to blog everyday, or even post in the morning (which really isn’t convenient anyways)
6. My posts don’t need to be a book long!

I look forward to some more lighthearted posts in the future!! Tomorrow I will be writing a book review on “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes” AND I will be announcing the giveaway winners, so if you haven’t entered yet, be sure to enter here!

Have a fabulous day my friends!

 

Beat Bad Attitudes

Welcome back to the series on child training and discipline, yay! I pray you all are being encouraged and challenged. Believe me, I have! (More on that on Monday, so be sure to come back).

Today we are going to tackle bad attitudes. I’ve learned somethings on bad attitudes that I really want to enlighten you to before moving on to training and discipline. Understanding the root of a bad attitude can make ALL the difference.

If you will permit me, I highly recommend and encourage you to read this article: Bad Attitude, put out by No Greater Joy Ministries. This will answer a lot of questions for you right from the beginning. After you’ve finished reading that (and done a thorough cry), come back and finish this article.

The Root

This is 90% of my own battle with my daughter {pictured on the left}, what was in that article. By the way, that picture is only a pose. I asked my daughter if she would mind posing a “bad attitude” for me and she happily obliged! Anyways, my bad attitude stems from my childhood. Yes, digging deep I found the root and it began when my dad left and a new man moved in. It wasn’t long after that bitterness took root in my heart. The rest is history. Now it’s a habitual battle and I am seeing the same thing in my daughter. It is hard. It is hard because I feel like I’m looking in a mirror and I really don’t like what I see. Often, I take my frustration of seeing me in her, out on her. I’m just being real here, and trust me, it is something I am working on minute-by-minute, by the grace of God.

So, you see where the root is: the heart. It’s in my heart from my childhood (yet not an excuse). It is in my daughter’s heart from her frustrations with my bad attitude. Vicious cycle. The remedy? Ask Jesus to work on my heart and be proactive, as well as asking Jesus to change my daughter’’s heart. There is also a need for repentance to my daughter and forgiveness from my daughter. Got all that? Ok good…moving on!

Since we know bad attitudes stem from the heart, it’s a good idea to find the root. A way to do this is by examining the heart through reading God’s Word and prayer. My daughter and I know the root of our’s so we know how to tackle it: speaking God’s Word into our lives and a lot of prayer and forgiveness.

Finding the root could take time, though, so do not lose heart. Keep pressing forward – keep praying, and digging into the Word of God.

The Training

Typically, it’s a good idea to be in training before a bad attitude arises. One way to do this is to be in the Word daily and pray daily. Maybe at first glance it doesn’t seem like enough, but God is enough. The Holy Spirit is enough to pierce our hearts. The Holy Spirit is the only One who can bring about the change in us and our children. We cannot beg, plead, or bribe our children to have good attitudes. We cannot continue to get frustrated and just hope things will change. We must rely on the Holy Spirit to bring that change in our children, but we cannot sit back and do nothing, either. It is our responsibility to be in prayer for them consistently (there’s that word again).

Training can also happen in the midst of bad attitudes. One that is a common factor among children is having a bad attitude when asked to do something, specifically a chore or duty. My recommendation if this occurs is to first warn them that having a poor attitude will result in an added chore. Remind them the choice is up to them. Be sure to follow through. Try to only give this warning a few times initially. After 2-3 warnings, once the bad attitude surfaces and is not adjusted by the child promptly (without warning from you), then take action. The warnings signify the training. When consequence follows warning, this is discipline.

The Discipline

There are several ways to discipline those with a bad attitude. We cannot change the heart, but we should make it very clear that a bad attitude pollutes, not just the one carrying it, but the entire family and those surrounded by it. If you can, get your child to talk to you about what’s bugging them. Otherwise, discipline should take place.

One way I discipline my daughter is by sending her to her room to give her time to gather herself together and ask God to help her change her heart. I will allow her to have her Bible and prayer journal. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t. Frequently, it can end with an emotional overhaul on my daughter’s part. I still have yet to understand where these outbursts are coming from. However, I find that when I apply Proverbs 15:1…

Proverbs 15:1 (NASB77)
¹ A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

…much of the storm will be calmed. Sometimes even after our conversation, a bad attitude will remain, but it is much more susceptible to being quieted and turned around, so I will have her hang out in her room until she’s ready to join the rest of us. (Mind you, she is not in there playing. She is sitting on her bed)

Another thing that has worked in the past is to not allow a bad attitude to fester. Instead, give your child something to do to take their mind of their bad attitude and set it on something else, like serving others. Have her work alongside you with household responsibilities, for example. I’ve even had my daughter sit down and write sentences until her heart was changed.Children need to understand a bad attitude is not acceptable.

Sometimes this is something that does take time. We must not nag, beg, or plead our children into a good attitude. It simply does not work that way. We can give them alternatives based on their choice to have a bad attitude and point them in the direction of fixing it. But we cannot fix it for them. Direct your child to the Bible and to God for help and also pray for them. They need their mothers (and/or father’s) to stand in the gap for them and gently guide their hearts through prayer and God’s Word. Pray with them and pray alone for them.

Please be sure to visit Sarah Mae and read her tips on Sibling Rivalry: 10 Tips For Dealing with Sibling Conflict

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If you are new, check out these previous posts:

Training and Discipline Techniques for your Kiddos (A.K.A Civilizing Those Darn Sin Natures!) @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee

Called to Discipline

Burdens or Blessings? No One Likes Being Around a Disobedient Child @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee

Child Training and Discipline Require: Commitment and Consistency

How Do I View My Children As Blessings in the “Everyday”? @ At the Well

Win Over Wining

Whining and Complaining: Sinning with Your Mouth @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee

 

Win Over Whining

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about me: whining is my pet peeve. Probably more so than anything else. Whining seeps into my veins and yes, occasionally causes me to react rather than to just “act”. It is a weakness, but not one that can’t be developed into a strength.

It’s amazing. Since starting this series, my children have become more of a challenge. More whining taking place, more sibling rivalry. I thought it ironic. But then, I began to see what was happening. I’ve been spending more time on the computer. Hmmmm. Does this excuse the whining? Not exactly. However, the fault is really mine, because I have not been meeting their needs as much, therefore they are responding to that. When I say “needs” I mean need for attention. Not food and water. The point is, this very exercise proves how much our kids need us and “scream” for our attention. Is it an acceptable way to do it? No. But is it a legit need? Yes.

There are at least two types of whining that I am aware of. If there are more, I haven’t come across them [yet].

The first type is the when the child will speak in a whiny voice when asking for something. Sometimes this actually carries over into a child’s entire way of speaking if given into often enough. Friends, this is not something we want our children to grow up doing and live out as an adult. Think about it. Would you want your child to marry someone who is constantly whining? The whining changes slightly as an adult and turns into complaining or nagging. This is definitely something I do NOT want my daughter to marry into, nor do I want one of my sons to marry such a woman! If we don’t stop the whining, you can rest assured it WILL continue. This is not something that is outgrown. It is something we must correct.

The second type of whining that I am aware of is the kind that 2-and 3-year-olds typically do. I am training through the toddler years for the third time now, and every time I have dealt with the same whining. It’s the kind that is more crying-whining mixed together. The kind of whining that shows frustration and anger, but folks, it’s really annoying. Yes, much of it is due to the children’s age, BUT, that is not an excuse not to address, correct, and train our toddlers to know a better way. Much of the whining stems from a lack of communication skills.

Other reasons for this type of whining include being told “no” and not getting what they want, which requires immediate disciplinary attention.

There are several things to keep in mind when it comes to whining.

1. Find out the cause

Sometimes a child is whining because of unmet needs, just like the case of my children in response to spending more time on the computer. Thus, I can easily eliminate the whining by simply returning to meeting their needs.

Other needs could be discomfort, fatigue (which is a frequent case), break in routine, or life changes (new baby, moving, etc). This list is not exhaustive, but it does give you a clearer picture.

In cases like this, the first thing we need to do is meet the need. If the whining persists after the need is met, begin implementing discipline and/or training.

2. Train

The very first rule of whining is to never give in. This is training. Your children will learn that they will get nothing from whining. If you give in once, they will do it again until you break. Eventually they will understand again, but if they try to test you later, to see if you have that weakness, and you break, the cycle begins again. End the whiny talk and the whiny voice by ending the cycle. So no matter what, do not give in. The battle will be worth it, trust me!

It is wise for us to train our children before problems arise. The first thing we need to do is look in the mirror. Oh yes. Mothers, look in that mirror and look good. Do you see anything? Do your children see anything? Hmm…how about your husband? Sometimes our husbands are more apt to tell us than our children. Do you complain or nag….and do your children see? The first thing we must do is set good examples for our children to follow. If we are nagging our husbands and complaining at restuarants, our children pick up on this…especially if they see it working. Take some time to pray and clean out that closet. I know this is an area I need to check myself in minute by minute. This is also true of bad attitudes which we’ll get into tomorrow more.

A few ways to minimize the whining before addressing the discipline aspects would be:

• work on language skills through much reading and verbal language
• teach your child/baby simple sign language to help them communicate better with you

What are some other ways we can prevent whining before it starts?

We may not be able to stop 100% of the whining (especially in toddlers), but it can certainly be minimized.

3. Discipline

I want to give you a few examples on how you can discipline your child during whining episodes. Whatever you choose to use, stick with it.

If your child wakes up in the morning whining and generally has a bad attitude, put them back in their bed and explain to them they are not to come out until they are done whining. If they come out and continue to whine, take them back to bed and repeat the same thing, more briefly this time. Continue this exercise until your child comes out with a happy heart. (This works for me). Do it again the next day if you must. It should take about 3 days and your child should be as happy as sunshine in the morning! If need be, give them an earlier bed time and see if that does the trick; thirty minutes to an hour earlier and stick with it.

If your child asks you for something with a whiny tone, train them to ask you without whining before you will give them what they’re asking. After some time of training (3-7 days), if they still continue to whine when they initially ask you for something, do not give it to them. Tell them they know they are supposed to ask without whining and because they whined they do not get it. If we are talking about food or drink, make the answer “no”, but try to do it as a delay. For example, if your child is whining for something to drink, and you offer them water and they whine for juice, of course the answer is “no”. But if they then whine for water, tell them “no”, because they were whining and they now have to wait until snack time or dinner time (whatever meal is closest). Or specify an allotted amount of time. The point is, they are not getting what they wanted from whining. Even delaying it is not getting what they want. I would encourage you, though, only delay food and water. Make everything else a firm no, with no intentions of delay. The exception to this is if they come back to you later in the day and ask in the right manner, with no hint of whining. Then they may have what the seek, with your permission.

Make sure you visit Sarah Mae @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee to learn more about whining. There is much to be said on the topic! In fact, there is so much to say, I am going to have to address “Bad Attitudes” tomorrow, in a post of it’s own! I filled this one up addressing whining.

What are some specific whining challenges you’ve been dealing with?

Friday, I will post some Q&A’s so please post your challenges in this area!

If you haven’t yet, check out the giveaway! I’m giving away one copy of Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…in you and your Kids by Joanne Miller and Scott Turansky!

If you are new, check out these previous posts:

Training and Discipline Techniques for your Kiddos (A.K.A Civilizing Those Darn Sin Natures!) @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee

Called to Discipline

Burdens or Blessings? No One Likes Being Around a Disobedient Child @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee

Child Training and Discipline Require: Commitment and Consistency

How Do I View My Children As Blessings in the “Everyday”? @ At the Well

Excellent Resources

Biblical Parenting

Raising Godly Tomatoes

No Greater Joy

 

Child Training and Discipline Require: Commitment & Consistency

While we begin to enter into the “nitty gritty” of child training and discipline, there are a couple of things that we must do. While reading articles and books on discipline and child training are a great start, it is really only the beginning. None of the information learned will do any of us any good if we don’t put it to good use and practice it.

First, we must be committed.

If we jump into a new method with no intent on following through if it doesn’t work the first 1, 2, or 3 times, we are only setting ourselves and our children up for failure. We must be committed from the very beginning. We must be committed for God, for our children, even for our husbands, who probably don’t want to constantly hear bickering and complaining every night he comes home from work (am I right?). Even when we feel like giving up, we need to stay committed. Even when we take 2 steps back, we need to stay committed and continue pressing forward.

Second, we must be consistent.

This is a huge key to success. Let me say it again, we must be consistent. We cannot try something one time and except it to yield results immediately.  We must do it again and again so that our children realize we mean business and that we are not going to back down. When our children wake up in the morning whining, we need to address it immediately and every single time it happens. Not sporadically, when we feel like doing it or when it’s convenient for us. The truth is, it will be more inconvenient for us more than it will be convenient. The sooner we recognize that, the better. Training and discipline are a top priority and most everything else must give way to make time for it.

Today, Sarah Mae @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee is addressing direct disobedience, so please stop by and glean from her wisdom! As a bonus, Sarah Mae is also ministering At the Well today on child training. Don’t miss out on these wonderful articles and please don’t hesitate to add feedback! We are all in this together and should encourage one another!

One more thing! Don’t forget to enter the giveaway and read Called to Discipline if you haven’t yet!

 

Called to Discipline

Mother’s have a responsibility to discipline and train their children. Often, we take this challenge too lightly and underestimate it’s value. Furthermore, we fail to recognize that discipline and training are more then just behavior modification. Discipline and training should deal with the heart and we need to understand this in order to effectively raise children.

Mother’s also have the responsibility of educating themselves on how to train and discipline their children. There are many methods, but not all of them will raise godly children, even those in the Christian circle. Everything must start with the Bible and it’s Truths. What does the Bible say about child training? Quite a bit, actually! Have you ever dug into Proverbs? There is more wisdom packed in there then we could possibly live out in one lifetime!  But don’t let that discourage you. Let it encourage you. We have the best advice and wisdom on child training and life, for life. Proverbs is just one toolbox for our journey. The Bible is jam-packed full of lessons to teach our children and advice on how to train and discipline them, and why.

Here are a few things the Bible has to say about child training and discipline:

Proverbs 22:6 (NASB)
⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:15 (NASB)
¹⁵ Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Proverbs 13:24 (NASB)
²⁴ He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

To train and discipline are somewhat different.

To train means: to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction: to train an unruly boy.(dictionary.com)

The KJV, which is where I find the root of the words translated to English, does not even use the word discipline when speaking about child training. It uses the word instruction or chasten. The root word for instruction is mûsār (Strong’s Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary), which means chastisement. The root word for chasten is yāsar (Strong’s Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary), which means to chastise. So, we conclude that these words mean one in the same. The definition for chastise is

1. to discipline, esp. by corporal punishment. (dictionary.com)

Now, believe it or not, my intent today was not to pull out an argument for or against corporal punishment. In fact, I was going to stay away from the topic of corporal punishment altogether because I know it is a very controversial one, and the truth is, if God can’t convince you, I surely won’t be able to. But, this is where my findings have lead me today, and believe it or not, I’m rather surprised by it myself. I didn’t expect so much of this to point back to corporal punishment.

What I do want to try to convince you of regarding this, is to seek out God’s Word for Truth, and be open to the Holy Spirit. My intent is not to try to convince anyone to discipline by means of corporal punishment, but to enlighten us all to the importance of training and discipline as a whole. There will be a time for addressing corporal punishment but it is not right now.

On that note, I’m doing a giveaway which opens today and ends next Tuesday. Yay!! For those of you who don’t already know, this is my very first giveaway. Woo hoo!! Joanne Miller, a teacher and co-author of Effective Parenting Ministries, has graciously agreed to give one winner a copy of her book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes…in you and your kids!, co-authored with Scott Turanksy.

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Here are the rules for the giveaway:

• In order for your entry to qualify, your reply must be topic related. Entries with two-liners (Pick me, Love it, good post, etc.) will be removed. The point of this giveaway is to help moms who are in real need and are being encouraged by what they read here. All I ask is that you show authentic participation if you want to be included in the giveaway.
• For extra entries
• *you may Tweet, Facebook, and/or blog about this series and giveaway. Feel free to use the series button on your blog. Other moms may need the encouragement and need to know what’s going on here. You get one entry per promotion (one for tweeting, one for Facebook, one for blogging, etc). Please leave the link for each promo in each comment you leave.
  *subscribe to Journey to a Gracious Woman
  *put my button on your blog.
  ***If you are already subscribed and/or already have my button on your blog, each still counts as an extra entry for you, so be sure to leave a comment for each one***
• Be sure you leave a link to your blog and/or your email address so that I can contact you if you win!!
• Giveaway is open to U.S. residents only
• Giveaway ends Monday, June 15 @ 11:59PM EST. Winner will be announced Tuesday, June 16 in the next column of A Mother’s Responsibility which will be a written review of the book
• I will contact the winner via email or blog and she will have 3 days to contact me with a mailing address, otherwise a new winner will be chosen. Please don’t let that happen!!

 

Motivation for Mother’s~MMM

Ok all you moms out there, listen up (or read on)! Sarah Mae of Like a warm cup of coffee, and I are teaming up this week to bring you some really awesome tips on child training and discipline. You don’t want to miss this! The schedule is as follows:

• Tuesday @ Journey to a Gracious Woman: Topic–The Duty of Discipline plus a Giveaway!
• Wednesday @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee: Topic– Direct Disobedience
• Thursday @ Journey to a Gracious Woman: Topic–Winning Over Whining & Bad Attitudes
• Friday @ Like a Warm Cup of Coffee: Topic–Sibling Rivalry

We want to motivate you and help you understand there is something you can do to stop the whining and help your children be obedient. Our children have personalities that make them who they are, but they also have wills that can make them or break them as they grow older. Dr. Dobson speaks about shaping the will in his book, Dare to Discipline. We want to shape the will without breaking the spirit. But we are going to dig deep and learn why it’s important to reach the heart of issues other than just changing behavior alone. Changing the behavior only deals with the surface and doesn’t get to the core of the child.

Proverbs 4:23 (NASB77)
²³ Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

The heart is the source of all things, good and evil. We want our children to have a heart for Jesus and all that He stands for, which is good, lovely, pure, and noble. (Philippians 4:8)

Proverbs 27:19 (NASB)
¹⁹ As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man.

Also, beginning tomorrow, I’ll be doing a giveaway right here, for an amazing tool that will help you in this awesome responsibility. Joanne Miller has graciously agreed to giveaway a copy of her co-authored book (with Scott Turansky) called Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…in you and your kids! Next Tuesday (June 16), I will be posting a review of the book here, and announcing the winner for the giveaway! Come back tomorrow to find out how you can enter!

So be sure you are subscribed to Like a Warm Cup of Coffee and Journey to a Gracious Woman so that you don’t miss any of these helpful posts!