Journey to a Gracious Woman

…I married the love of my life and my one best friend, Jonathan. Instead of going into how we met, I would rather talk about the last 8 years of our marriage, briefly.  While I don’t remember the exact year everything happened in and when the transitions came, I know that they happened and why.

I have no doubts that I loved Jonathan before we married, and loved him much. However, the depth of that love has reached a place I never knew existed. The ups and downs of life have shook our marriage in ways I never saw. Having the foundation of Jesus Christ not only in our personal lives, but in our marriage has been the key to surviving the things that have come about, and continue to come about. Getting through the hard times has only made our love stronger. When I speak of “love” I speak of much more than an emotion. I am speaking of it as an action. 

First Corinthians 13 defines what love is…patient and kind, what love does…protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and rejoices with the Truth ALWAYS, what love is not…envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily-angered, what love does not…remember mistakes, like evil, or fail, EVER.

Not once does this definition include a feeling; an emotion. The emotion is a result of the actions of love.

This is one thing we have learned over the course of our marriage. A good marriage doesn’t “just happen”, yet many people don’t realize that. They think it’s “by chance” you end up with the right mate. This is completely false! It is up to us to make our marriage glorious by allowing the Holy Spirit to direct us and teach us. God set up the marriage relationship and the standards that go with it. Without direction or structure, it just cannot be.

When the stress of life rises up and threatens our marriage, we realize it is not against each other we fight, it is against the evil one trying to destroy what God has made to be glorious. I say “to be” because it doesn’t just happen. It takes work; hard work; self denial; purposeful acts of kindness. Just read the defintion of love and you will see for yourself what it’s made up of.

These principals are the very ones we live by and the very thing that has made our marriage glorious, along with each of us understanding the role God has put us into. This is something I plan to write about in it’s own page on my blog here, so if you are interested in learning more about what those roles are, please check back. I hope to have it up within the next month.

My husband is the most incredible person I have ever met and I do not say that simply because he is my husband. I say that because he proves it to me everyday. He shows compassion and kindness. He is a father to his children, and maybe this ought to be a given, but unfortunately, in today’s world, Christian and secular alike, it is not the norm. I have run into father’s who will not even allow themselves to be left alone with their children, simply because they don’t want the responsibility of caring for them for any amount of time. Perhaps that is their perogative and maybe it’s not all bad, but I am blessed by a husband who chooses to spend time with his children out of love, not obligation.

As an imperfect wife, I am still learning to appreciate some of his attributes and am still learning patience. I admit I have allowed the busyness and stresses of life steal my everyday joy. My heart is often serious and unplayful and I have been praying and practicing to change that. My husband admits that’s one of the things he loves and cherishes about me: that I am working to be a better person and serve him better. I thank God for the marriage He has helped us have. Following His principals, though they go against the grain of society, comfort and maybe even instinct, has made our marriage what it is: GLORIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, DELIGHTFUL, MAGNIFICENT, ENJOYABLE, and every other adjective that goes with the word!

Well, some changes are definately being made, praise Jesus! Over this past week I have finally got myself into the WORD more consistently! It sure is wonderful, too, because it reminds me daily that I am not alone, how good I have it, of the promises of God and much more! I have read the book of Esther and the book of Ruth. Both which were very inspiring! Each woman showed such humility and courage!

Right now I am reading through Isaiah which I am having a hard time following. I guess I don’t understand all the metaphors that go with it. This is something I will talk to my husband about. He can clarify, since we are both reading the same thing on the same days. We get our Bible reading plan from Back to the Bible. It’s a way for us to read the Word together and stay accountable to each other. For this I am grateful.

I am having a REALLY hard time trying to weed out books and stick to ONE. I love to read on so many different topics at the same time because I feel like I face so many things all at once! I’m finding that I like to OWN books more than I like to borrow these days. Used to be I didn’t mind borrowing books from the library, but I just don’t like the time contraints anymore! LOL

Having four children really limits my reading time, so I have to be careful to prioritize. My *problem* is I like to jump on every book everyone recommends! LOL What I need to do is compile them all into one place and put them on a “To Read” list. I’m sure over time it would be weeded out and I would read only the best books for me!

So…..without further ado – the books I am sticking with for this next month are (drumroll please!):
Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl

I have been reading this book slowly and at a comfortable pace, but it is a phenominal book and I am in no hurry to finish it. It has helped me really have a blissful marriage, especially when it’s hard to put my hubby first. I know I need the help to stay on track and I welcome sound, biblical teaching into my life. Debi does not sugar coat anything. She tells it like it is.

Toilet Training in Less Than a Day

This book is something I really need right now, as I have a 3 year old son who has a really hard time making it to the potty. His intentions are good and most times he gives me no grief when it’s time to sit on the potty. But 95% of the time he doesn’t go in the potty. So I am hoping this can help me! Thankfully it’s a book I own, although I’m sure I won’t be taking my time so that I can begin applying the principals right away!

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Last but not least, I’ve been slowly reading Jane Eyre for the 5minutesforbooks “Classics” club. It has been slow going because I find it hard to find time to read these days! Not to mention, I’m a little discouraged because this is a looong book! I don’t want to start a book and not finish it, but I’m afriad that I won’t be able to keep up! I may have to skip a book here or there in order to catch up with a previous book, I guess! No biggie, as long as I can finish what I start!

I am beginning to prefer buying my books rather then borrowing them from the library, because having 4 children at home now really limits my reading time. It’s not a bad thing! I like staying busy with my children, but the time limit on the books puts more of a restraint on my ability to finish them “in time”. I like to just be able to read at my own pace. Ya know?

So, that’s my piece as of now! Please visit www.5minutesforbooks.com for more wonderful book insights from wonderful women across the blogosphere!

Lately, it seems I’ve been really getting involved in a lot of reading challenges, mainly from 5 Minutes for Books. It’s a fascinating site and I encourage you to visit it!

My goals for the fall may seem small, but for me they will be a challenge and quite a goal to reach! I have several books on my list right now. Since I am homsechooling my 6 year old as well as aiding and supporting my husband as he works on his masters degree, while chasing around 3 other children 3 years old and younger, finding time to read is a challenge in and of itself. If I find I have more time to read, I will add to the list.

So without further ado, here are the books:
Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl

I am about half way thorugh this remarkable book. I read bits and pieces of it while I am nursing and I cannot help but be encouraged yet challeneged at the same time! I know this book speaks truth because I’ve put it into practice. Our marriage has always been good and I have noone to thank other then our Lord Christ Jesus. He alone has made our marriage glorious. As we continue to seek Him individually, together as a couple, and as a family, He continues to bless us. His blessings include those of selflessness, choosing to be humble in situations that were not in my favor, and just being lead by the Holy Spirit rather then my first, fleshly response. That doesn’t always make it easy, but it makes it worth it. Enough cannot be said about this book. God has truly used Debi to bring forth His Truths in a challenging, yet loving way.

The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis

I have only read a piece of the introduction in this thus far, but I wanted to challenge myself with something with a depth in spirituality.

Last, but certainly far from the least of these, I will be reading through the lives of different women of the Bible: Ruth, Esther, yes, even Jezabel during these Autumn months.  I pray to come back filled with something I didn’t carry before. What that is now, I don’t know. Whether it be discipline to read the Word, a new insight to worship and thanksgiving, or attributes of a gracious woman. I look forward to evaluating my time in the end.

I can’t to see what others are going to be reading! Perhaps I’ll find a few I can add to my l-o-n-g list!

The last couple of weeks have been stressful to say the least and most of it is only from perceived circumstances. Things we thought would happen but didn’t. Isn’t that kind of wierd how we allow fear to creep in over something that we *think* is going to happen? I do it when I don’t hear from my husband in a certain amount of time or when I call and he repeatidly doesn’t answer for one reason or another. Any wife has to admit it scary to think about your husband never coming home again!

And why do we have these fears? Where do they come from? My first guess would be the enemy. He uses these strongholds to keep us in bondage to fear. We even see it as justifiable because “anything can happen”.

Well, with that aside, the beginning of the week went so well and now I feel beat down. Ever since yesterday, and I don’t know why. I don’t want to do anything. I’m a bit mopey. What’s up with that!? I need to continuously renew my mind and rely on the Lord’s strength through the joy He has given me.

The constant whining and crying of little ones can be wearing on a person, too.

I just need to get into the Word more and keep my mind fresh with it. Daily I will do so. No more excuses. No more putting it on the back burner. I can easily find a mere 15 minutes to read God’s Word.

Won’t you join me?

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

This has always been one of the verses I strive to be. Selfless and humble. Well, I can’t tell myself I am humble, because, well that isn’t showing much humility! But this has been something I’ve been chasing as a wife and mother, because being a wife and mother requires being selfless and humble. Without selflessness, I don’t think I’d be an adequate wife or mother. Sometimes I even think blogging is selfish (for me) - well if I spend more then my share browsing and commenting, it becomes so.

Somehow, we all want people to notice us, notice our blogs and all the cool projects and schoolwork our children are doing, but we forget to go out and encourage others first. We are told in Philippians to think of others first and as more important than ourselves. Talk about self-denial! How hard it is to stop doing something that comes too easily!

What profit is there in getting all the attention anyway? I’m sure it isn’t fulfilling. I think it is more rewarding to go OUT and encourage others and help others. Obviously not only in the blogging world, but in our neighborhoods and our communities as well. Even beginning with our own families. Too often we brush our children aside using a movie so that we can chase our own endeavors – and I am just as guilty as this as anybody! I’m certainly not saying that once in a while we shouldn’t sit down for a break and enjoy a hobby. But we need to check how often we are doing so and what consequences (long term) can and will stem from it.

This is just one example, and one from my own life, I have dealt with often in the past. Notsomuch now, but sometimes I still do. I imagine it will be an ongoing process of discipline because if I do not stay on top of it, I can easily fall back into the same old habits.

I believe true J.O.Y. comes in serving others in this order: Jesus Others Yourself

What about you? Is there something in your life that can be set aside to show interest in someone else – making them more important than yourself?

Please, link up and share your story!

To better understand the Power Verse Ponder: I get the “power verse” from the left bar and it changes everyday. When time allots, I will use the scripture to create a devotion for myself and others who want to read. If you wish to participate and give your own input, you may do so in a comment or on your own blog. You may use the button to the left and link back to this blog so that other’s may join in, too!

Ephesians 5:1

WHAT!? Another whole week has already gone by!? See, this is the problem with us today. We constantly put off having our time with the Lord until before we know it, it’s been yet another week!

I can’t say the entire week went by before I connected with God. Conveinently when I needed something this weekend, something desperate, I cried out to Him in prayer. Yet throughout the week, I can’t remember spending a moment with Him when I wasn’t running around crazy. My prayer journal reflects a couple of entries that we cut off short of finishing. My prayers consisted of asking for wisdom for balance in the race of life. To not allow us to lose focus and remember to spend time with Him. I wonder how many times I ignored His nudging throughout the week when He promted me to come to Him. They are usually oh so suttle and go missed because of the busyness of “life”. I should never, never be too busy for God!

Well, in the midst of everything that has been going on here, and given my track record over the last several years, I would like to focus on having a merry heart. A happy heart. A joyful and thankful heart. I tend to forget how blessed I am and somehow end up griping about things that just don’t matter.

Proverbs 17:22 says “A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

I got these from yearbookyourself.com….some of those hairdo’s made me REALLY ugly though! SCARY!

Hmm…what to say….I suppose I didn’t spend as much time as I’d like with the Lord this past week. Didn’t read much of the Word, didn’t do too much praying. I guess I just felt like I was in rush mode and had waaay too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Today, however, I have taken a step back to reevaluate and better manage my time. So far it’s working, but it’s only been one day and a smooth one at that. My goal is to remember where (Who) to draw my strength from: My Solid Rock, Jesus.

A few more great tips I’ve received from some wonderful friends, including the above, are: drink plenty of water, eat protein throughout the day and exercise regularly. OK, all this stuff is nothing new. And perhaps it doesn’t sound “spiritual”, but it truly is. Afterall, it was God who created our bodies and ordered us to take care of them.  Only by taking care of ourselves can we fully be used by God. True, God does certainly sustain us, but most times, it is in our hands to be obediant and follow God’s commands on caring for ourselves.

By managing my time and caring for myself, I will be following the advice God has given for living a life of fulfillment. Granted, these are only a few of the steps toward that goal, but I am walking with Him, none the less!

Verses:

Luke 21:34 (NLT) 
    “Watch out! Don’t let me find you living in careless ease and drunkenness, and filled with the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware,

This is not to say that I drink, but it is a verse warning us to care for ourselves and live carefully.

1 Cor. 6:19-20 (NLT) 
    Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, [20] for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

I believe one example was given prior to these verses as to how we could defile the body. Yet the commandment is not restricted to this kind of abuse alone.

God is a God of order – just read Exodus and Leviticus. He was very particular on how he wanted things done. This is where time management comes in.

1 Cor. 14:40 (NLT) 
    But be sure that everything is done properly and in order.
 

Enough said.