I am ashamed of myself – ever since I started feeling sick with this pregnancy, all I’ve done is complained about it – not that I try to, but that’s how it comes out. It can be difficult at times, and I’m not denying that. I have also thanked God for a healthy pregnancy – geez, if I’m feeling good two days in a row I start to get worried and actually feel a bit relieved to feel the sickness again – at least for a day.
Enlight of all of this, two friends of mine (who happen to be best friends to each other) have gone through pregnancy crisis in the last four days alone. My one friend had been trying to conceive for a year before she got pregnant – and we were all so excited for her! She had big plans, ya know? She was looking forward to all the icky pregnancy symptoms, just thankful she had life growing inside of her – yet only a couple of weeks passed before her baby was taken to heaven. 
We were all devasted for her – after trying for so long and getting so excited, only to lose such a precious gift – an answer to prayer. It is so heartbreaking!
My other friend who is her best friend, enlight of trying to conceive, lost two babies before she got pregnant with her little girl. She is/was about 20 weeks along today – she is currently in the hospital right now delivering her premature baby due to early dialation and her bag of water breaking. I can only IMAGINE the agonizing heartbreak she and her husband are going through.
Words can’t even explain how I feel, and I am not the mommy of these precious babies. I just know I am so unbelievably heartbroken for my friends. I want so much to be able to save them from this, but know there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless.
It is rare that I question God, but this is one of those times that I wonder, why? We prayed for healing and we prayed for these gifts as they did – why did He choose to take them away?
Lord, I love you so much and I don’t mean to question you because I know better – I just wonder, Lord. I just wonder what you have in store for these ladies that is so great that they must have to go through such storms. Lord, I can only pray this draws them closer to you and does not push them away. Lord please heal their hearts – please fill the holes that are now there with your love. Wrap your arms around my friends and give them everlasting peace. Thank you Jesus.
Well, as far as eating goes, with the morning sickness and all, I am eating whatever I can get down. Most of the time it’s healthy food. LOL Most sweets don’t appeal to me anyways, so that helps. I am not looking to lose weight at this time, obviously….but I’m not looking to gain unnecessary weight either. Once the first trimester passes, I look forward to getting back to my workout routine and in the spring start running again. I can’t say there is any too significant to report. God has been speaking to me about my overall spiritual health, though. It’s not that I’m disconnected from God, but it’s that He is calling me to grow deeper with Him. He wants to restore my joy and spending time in prayer and in the Word are keys to making this happen. I am doing the Through the Bible in a Year Reading Plan to keep me in the Word daily, without excuse that I don’t know what to read. Nothing else matters more than making sure my times with God are alive and moving me forward. 
