Last week I wrote on some major changes that are meant to take place in me and my family. Some of those changes were spoken to me on Sunday and I would like to share them here. Please understand, this word was spoken to me, however, if when you read it, you hear it speaking to your heart, please, don’t ignore it. Heed Him. You will never be satisfied until you surrender [trust me].
For a long time, I often wondered how moms can blog regularly or do internet ministry and still be present for their children often enough. Then I realized, it wasn’t the writing that was the problem for me, it’s all the reading I do on the internet. Still, I was paying too much attention to what other moms were doing, believing I should be doing it, too, rather then listening to that still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. The voice that is supposed to specifically direct me and my family for the mission we were called for.
Without running the risk of going on and on forever here, I just want to tell you what God spoke to me on Sunday. Then I want to kind of clarify my viewpoint of things. These questions were finally laid to rest when I quieted myself long enough to listen for God. This is what He said to me:
“You wonder why so many children are “jumping ship” while having “well-meaning” parents; it’s because they are leaving their children to themselves while they do “ministry”. Don’t make the same mistake. I gave you these children to train to work for me. That’s your job. Pay no heed to what other moms are doing. You just obey.”
Now, I understand I am risking a major flogging here by posting that many moms who do ministry probably shouldn’t be. The reason? Because children are suffering for it – whether we want to admit it or not. And chances are we won’t see the effects of it until later; On those days when we wonder, “what went wrong?” My children were suffering for my “ministry”. This should not be. If the children are suffering, the “ministry” needs to go. So mine went. My blogging will no longer be what it was. What it became was priority. I couldn’t start the day until I had a post up, and sometimes it could take two hours to get that to happen, in between taking care of my kids. I lost the rhythm of my home and the harmony of my children. They missed their mama and they showed it through whining, fighting, disobeying and other negative behavior. Rather then sitting with them during breakfast, I would take my coffee and sit at the computer, either reading or typing, leaving them to themselves. Discipline was lacking because I was staring at a screen rather then being a mother.
These last three days away from the computer, and I mean turned off the entire day, have been bliss. I now sit at the table with them for breakfast, with my coffee, and read them a chapter of Proverbs. I’ve gotten more cleaning done in two days then I would’ve gotten done in a week, being on and off the computer. I was kidding myself when I believed it wasn’t “as bad” if I got on and off in spurts, rather then sitting down for a long spell. Those spurts add up to a lot of time. It was cutting into relationship building with my children, among other things.
My computer time was becoming like an addiction. I became dependent on it for fulfillment, yet ironically, it left me unfulfilled. I told God that the only way I could be helped is supernaturally. I knew I could not stop this on my own. And that’s exactly what He’s done.
Blogging is no longer a priority that I make time for. In fact, it is the lowest thing on the totem pole. When I have some minutes to spare, I will post [like right now]. Longer posts [like this one] will more than likely be left in “draft” state, as I add to them when I have time–not when I make time. I just cannot sit down and type out a long post while my children are left to themselves. And I won’t take away my time with my husband in the evening either. That is very precious time for us to connect as husband and wife and we need it to keep our marriage on fire. We look forward to it and enjoy it.
I only have one shot to be the best mother to my children and to raise them to fear God and love Him. As children, they will only know His love through their parents. If we give them a poor sampling, they are not going to be interested in how much God loves them when they’re older. If God is anything like a mother who spends hours on and off the computer, leaving her children to themselves, they will begin to make their own decisions rather then waiting on God’s voice. There is so much to be taught in a lifetime, our minutes are precious and must be spent to make the most of every opportunity.
Finally, we are living in a time of major spiritual warfare and possibly the end times. Since I don’t know for sure, I need to train my children up as warriors for the Lord. I cannot afford to raise up sissy Christians. This is no easy task and requires all my attention. Satan wants to distract me any way he knows how. I need to recognize it better.
So, when you see less posting and commenting, this is why. 
And to tell you the truth, it’s a freedom I cannot explain. I don’t feel like I am missing out by not being on the computer. But I did feel like I was missing out by not being attentive to my children.
Do I enjoy blogging? Absolutely! But the cost was too high. I’ll still be here and there, but I won’t be reading nearly as much and I won’t be posting daily. So, I pray you will continue to visit once in a while and I will do some visiting as I can. In the future, I may even turn my comments off. We shall see where the Lord leads.
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